Spring Cleaning 2015

All I wanted was a can of beans. I had no desire to wage full on war with my staples cabinet. But here I was, becoming more and more irate as each can I pushed aside was not my beloved frijoles. That does it. Breakfast burritos will have to wait. This is ridiculous.

As I reached into the dark recesses of my uppermost cabinets I found things I hadn't seen in years. I inspected each can and package for an expiration date. I was mortified. 2011??? Time for a little spring cleaning on this last day of winter 2015. I was not about to repeat the experience of a couple nights ago; a search for canned tomatoes turned up three can-didates, all expired by a couple of years. What could a year or two matter? They're tomatoes in vinegar and salt. The can was intact, not bruised or dented. I smelled them, tasted them. I ate them. Mistake. Big mistake. About halfway through my salsa I detected a metallic taste. Something off, not quite right. End of that snack. All night long I thought I might throw up. I wished I would throw up - I would feel a little less green.

So I amassed a pile of canned goods, bottled dressings and cardboard drinks, all bound for the trash. I thought about dropping them off at the "Donation" box but what if someone got sick? Simply not worth hugging the porcelain throne all night to save a few bucks. I had probably bought most of these on sale, anyway. Why do we think we must have something simply because it is marked down? What base human instinct for survival is at work here? I recalled being a young and divorced single mother, struggling to provide the most basic needs for my daughter and I--food and shelter. Every paycheck would be gone before I received it. But I always had a stockpile of canned goods and staples. Here I am, a successful business woman, a grandmother no less, and you think I would have overcome this hoarding complex.

My vow now is to keep all of my canned goods in plain sight. On a baker's rack that I never bake on. Rows in order of "use by date." My late night snacks will be oriented around which one to use next. I'm kind of excited about the possibilities. Crazy combinations I never thought of before might become new favorite go to's. Anchovies in eggs. Kidney beans in pasta. French fries in salad dressing. And I have a spare cabinet for storage... something I'll hardly ever use.

Out with the old, in with the new! I think I'm going to like my new arrangement.